I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
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