idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception