Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.

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  (502): i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'. http://tfl.nu/b21s
  Replies (18) Good night (6648) Bad night (660)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.

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  (907): There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/4wb0
  Replies (17) Good night (1893) Bad night (5915)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?

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  (732): I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break? http://tfl.nu/m0ae
  Replies (8) Good night (3897) Bad night (803)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.

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  (313): The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her. http://tfl.nu/8p27
  Replies (20) Good night (5533) Bad night (1782)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.

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  (416): he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming. http://tfl.nu/nho3
  Replies (12) Good night (6881) Bad night (978)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.

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  (336): You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed. http://tfl.nu/k43u
  Replies (4) Good night (2198) Bad night (1367)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.

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  (360): Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink. http://tfl.nu/zpxh
  Replies (8) Good night (769) Bad night (1446)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.

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  (+44): Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go. http://tfl.nu/hus5
  Replies (10) Good night (2211) Bad night (603)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl

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  (225): We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl http://tfl.nu/f3ra
  Replies (5) Good night (868) Bad night (1299)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?

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  (801): When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married? http://tfl.nu/a2v4
  Replies (10) Good night (3497) Bad night (579)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.

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  (206): Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/pnkf
  Replies (4) Good night (1966) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass

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  (859): and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass http://tfl.nu/9tah
  Replies (3) Good night (1048) Bad night (404)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...

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  (516): Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french... http://tfl.nu/u9v2
  Replies (4) Good night (1482) Bad night (243)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.

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  (586): The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker. http://tfl.nu/pfab
  Replies (2) Good night (221) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  what are you going as for halloween?

  (805): View more from California

  drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable

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  (818): what are you going as for halloween? (805): drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable http://tfl.nu/bmlt
  Replies (5) Good night (859) Bad night (151)

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