Just cropdusted the office
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
