So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
so much tequila, so little girl.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
