You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The adults are the big ones right?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
