My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
