mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
