Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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