If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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