U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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