my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
