The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
