I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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