just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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