It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize