im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
