Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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