she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
