Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize