I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
