My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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