I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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