It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
