"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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