Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
