I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize