My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize