I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
