he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
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He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
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I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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