Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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