Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
