there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
