I CAN MOONWALK!
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
