dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize