he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
