Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
