it was like his penis was on wheels.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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