We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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