you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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