I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
