you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
