Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
