A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I think my moral compass just broke
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