that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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