WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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