that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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