so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
