the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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