Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
you never un-have a 4some
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
