That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I enjoy the company of your penis
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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