my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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