I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
