so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
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