you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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