I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
