On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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