i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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