She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
