Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Panties = found
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
