I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
