my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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